I’ve decided to become a positive person.  Not that I think of myself as particularly negative or angry, but I definitely have room to grow.  I get angry when my husband plays basketball and leaves me on dog duty.  I am usually cranky on Monday mornings, especially when it’s cold out.  Watching the news makes me upset with the world and all of its injustice.

I’ve made a decision to change all of this.

A few weeks ago, my husband and I traveled to a family member’s wedding in Pensacola, Florida.  Before we left, my mother gave me a book to read on the plane.  This book focused on using positive thinking to get everything you want out of life—a new car, a new house, all the money you every dreamed of, and so on.  All you have to do is believe that you already have these things and they will appear.  Sounds good, huh?

So, my husband and I were flying from DC to Pensacola with a 40-minute layover in Atlanta.  Our flight was delayed an hour.  I went to the Air Tran desk and was informed that we’d “probably” make our connection, since a lot of flights were delayed out of Atlanta.  Unfortunately, we were on the last connecting flight to Pensacola.  I sat down in the terminal and stressed for the next hour or so.  When we finally boarded the plane, I opened my book and began my journey into the power of positive thinking.

I finished the majority of the book on the first leg of our trip.  By the time we touched down in Atlanta, I had no doubt that we, and our luggage, would make the connection.  When we landed at 9:30, I called the toll-free number to check our flight status.  The recording said that our departing flight was now scheduled to leave at 9:33.  Did I mention we were in row 17 on a full flight?  No problem.  All I had to do is believe that we’d make our connection and my wish would be granted.  When we got off the plane, at gate C16, an Air Tran employee was in the terminal directing all of us frantic travelers to our connections.  When I told her we were flying to Pensacola, she said, “Gate C1, RUN!”  We took off our flip flops, sprinted to the gate, and boarded the plane.  They closed the gate behind us and we took off.  My husband was trying to figure out what we were going to do without our checked luggage, but I was confident that our suitcase was on the plane.  We landed in Pensacola and walked to baggage claim.  Our suitcase was the fifth bag off the belt.

The following day, my in-laws called with some scary news.  My father in-law had an emergency appendectomy 3 days earlier.  That morning, the surgeon told my in-laws that he was 90% sure that my father-in-law’s appendix was cancerous.  Pretty crazy, since the incidence of cancer of the appendix is somewhere around 0.12 cases per 1,000,000 people per year.  I made the decision to only think positive thoughts about this.  After all, this cancer is so rare that there’s no way he could have it.  The doctor had to be mistaken.  We got a call a few hours later that the pathologist determined that there was a slight malignancy, but since his appendix had already been removed, there was about a 0% chance it had spread elsewhere in the abdomen.  Pretty darn amazing.

Wait, there’s more.  I borrowed the DVD version of this book from a friend.  (Yes, there’s a DVD and a book.)  I had it with me at the Region 3 health conference in Mississippi and decided to watch it on my laptop on the way home.  A section of the DVD talks about how to visualize what you want to make it happen.  The author says to start with something small, like a cup of coffee.  I didn’t want a cup of coffee, but I wanted to brush my teeth or chew a piece of gum.  I also needed a pen.  In Charlotte, I only had a 35-minute layover and $1 in my wallet.  But I was confident that, through the power of positive thinking, I would have no problem freshening my breath, obtaining a pen, and boarding my connecting flight on the other side of the airport.

I got off the airplane and went into the first restroom I saw, fully convinced that a random stranger would offer me a piece of gum en route.  Inside the restroom, there was a table set up with mouthwash, mints, gum, and various other amenities for weary travelers.  Have you ever seen that at an airport?  Neither have I.  I took the mouthwash and a mint and decided to put my last dollar in the tip jar.  I was that sure that I wouldn’t need the dollar.  I walked to the sink and put my bag on the counter.  My bag opened slightly and I caught a glimpse of a pen right on top.  I’m not quite sure where it came from.  Maybe it was a giveaway at the conference.  (The Twilight Zone theme played in the background.)

I’ve moved beyond visualizing small stuff like flight connections, mouthwash, and pens.  I’ve printed out some pictures of my new brownstone in the city, lakefront home, and hybrid Altima.  My brownstone has huge windows with a wonderful view, exposed brick walls, majestic hardwood floors, and a winding staircase that leads to my bathroom/spa retreat.  In my lakefront home, I have a forever pool (a pool that looks like it continues into another body of water, but doesn’t).  I decided to go for a less pretentious car.  Though, I probably won’t fight the universe if it sees fit to give me a Jaguar.  I’ll let you know the status of my new home(s) and car in a few months.  Expect pictures in an upcoming newsletter.

You’re probably wondering if I really believe that my positive thoughts caused me (and my baggage) to arrive in Pensacola without delay, cured cancer, and summoned mouthwash into an airport bathroom and a pen into my purse.  I don’t know.  What I do know is that if I hadn’t read this book, I would have spent the first leg of my flight trying to figure out where I was going to stay in Atlanta, and the second leg stressing about the money I was going to spend buying a new swimsuit, shoes, and clothes in Florida.  I would have wasted a day on a beautiful beach worrying about my father in-law’s health, and I probably wouldn’t have done nearly as good of a job of supporting my husband when he was worried about his father.  In Charlotte, I would have ran into a convenience store and bought an overpriced mini-toothbrush, tube of toothpaste, and pen on my debit card, when I didn’t need to buy any of those items.  Positive thinking can’t hurt.  Even if it doesn’t bring you everything you always wanted, it’s makes the journey more enjoyable.

I’ve not yet mastered the art of being a happy, positive person all of the time.  I can’t always stop myself from having negative thoughts, but I really am trying.  These are a few tips I’ve picked up along the way:

• Control your thoughts.  When you start thinking about something negative, make a conscious decision to change your thinking.  When you arrive home and find that your significant other didn’t unload the dishes before he or she left for work in the morning, stop your thoughts.  You could easily get mad about the dishes.  Maybe thinking about the dishes will remind you of all of the other chores that he or she has neglected.  Then you may think about the time they forgot your anniversary.  Before you know it, you’ve spiraled into a rage.  Don’t go there.  Take 5 minutes and put away the dishes yourself.  Think of a funny memory or inside joke.  Go watch Comedy Central.  I hear Steven Colbert is running for president.
• Surround yourself with like-minded people.  It’s difficult to be positive when you surround yourself with negative people.  If someone comes into your office with a laundry list of complaints, ask them to step out until they have something positive to say.  Remember, complaining (or listening to someone complain) rarely solves anything.
• Get over it already.  This week, I was not given credit for a project that I worked very, very hard on.  I felt like it was an intentional slight.  I was mad about it for a few minutes.  Then I made the decision to move on.  My coworkers tried to convince me to retype the handout on which my name was omitted.  (I didn’t have an electronic version.)  I knew if I sat at my desk and did that, every minute I spent typing was going to make me angrier.  It might even ruin my whole day.  Was it worth it?  No.  I know what I did for the project.  My superiors know what I accomplished.  I’m over it.
• Frame your thoughts in the positive.  When you’re driving to work, instead of thinking “I don’t want to get stuck in traffic”, think “I’m going to get to work in record time this morning.”  It just puts a better perspective on life.
• Practice gratitude.  What are you thankful for?  I’ve been doing this while running.  Yesterday, I thought about how happy I was that is was 80 degrees in mid October and the sun was shinning.  I was thankful that I have two strong legs that enable me to run and a desire to get out there and do it.  I was thankful that I live in a safe enough neighborhood that I’m not afraid to run.  I was thankful that my dog, who is the prettiest dog in the whole wide world, likes to run as much as I do.  (She really is a very pretty dog.  She’s even been in USA Today.)   By the end of the run, I was singing “What a Wonderful World.”
• Laugh a lot.  There is no reason to be serious all of the time.  Let yourself be silly.  Watch silly movies.  Have a lot of jokes with your friends and family.  Don’t take yourself too seriously.  Trust me; you’re a very silly person.
• Share your happiness and positive thinking.  Both positive and negative thoughts are contagious.  Help someone else choose to be a positive person.  Forward this article to them.  Send me a story (mailto:julie.luht@humanitas.com) of how positive thinking has affected your life.  Put inspirational quotes around your wellness center waiting room.  Buy a book of uplifting short stories for students to read.  Copy these tips, edit them as you see fit, and post them in your wellness center.  The possibilities are endless.

Hope you have a wonderful and joyful day!

Acknowledgements:

Byrne, Rhonda et al. The Secret. Published 2006. The Secret Website.